Thursday, July 31, 2025

I've been working on this for a few weeks however i've procrastinated making my first real post. Sharing my personal thoughts in any more formal way than small posts on my personal social media is pretty intimidating.
I think it feels particularly vulnerable because ive never felt very comfortable speaking about anything with authority or in any way that appears closed-minded or that makes others feel bad for lacking knowledge. I dont want to be any type of singular, trusted resource that someone doesnt fact check on their own, or to present myself as any type of expert on anything just because of the way I speak.
Unfortunately in my quest to avoid this kind of thing, I've also lost my voice a bit. I remember being a very confident and persuasive writer in highschool, and defending my position was not intimidating or that deep. I suppose thats the thing about growing up, it starts to be a lot more obvious how important what we believe and share and advocate for in our words and actions actually is.
The internet is also simply more permanent now, and I think part of my mental hurdle is deciding that its not that deep, I can update my thoughts as I grow my knowledge, and nothing here is fixed. Fearing the idea of being wrong or changing my mind shouldnt limit me and certainly wont help me find my voice again.
Plus, I process things verbally, and despite the fact I could just rant endlessly about any of my fixations, I dont want to annoy everyone that much. Some of the topics im interested in are also just not at all engaging to my friends and I think in certain instances i'm better off discussing a topic alone through notes and writing.
Hopefully the next post will be easier and more interesting. If youre reading this, I appreciate you and have a wonderful day.